The Grocery Store

It's a familiar scene. You're walking through the grocery store and you hear it: the all too familiar squealing of an angry toddler. You cringe thinking of all the times you yourself have been there and feel empathy for the mother. You try to continue with your shopping when she rounds your corner. However, the look on the mother's face isn't of concern for her child or fear of being seen or even of embarrassment over the ruckus, but instead is one of anger. Her eyes have mastered "the look" and she is nearly shaking she's so angry over her toddler's selfish antics. She mutters threats, practically spitting, and you wonder how long it will be until she grabs the child from the cart and hauls her off to discipline her.

How many times have we ourselves been in this identical situation? I'm not talking about the situation of the viewer but of the mother herself with the screaming child.

About a year ago I read the Duggar's first book "20 and counting" and was shocked when I got to a part that confessed how Michelle and Jim Bob had struggled with anger issues when they had all little children. I was shocked because their demeanor on TV is always so soft that I could hardly imagine them even scowling, let alone yelling or grabbing their child is a harsh way. But I was relieved.

When I had one child I would look with pity at those mothers who obviously needed a parenting lesson. I would smile my way through the store and even when my child was the screaming one I would smile sweetly at those passing and continue exercising calmness.

But now I have 4 kids under 6. Wait, let me rephrase that, I have 4 boybarians under 6.

Anyways, so back to the grocery store scene except this time it's me with the screaming toddler. Oh yes, and my baby is screaming too in the sling. My preschooler is grabbing things off the shelves and shoving them in my face alternating with bolting down the aisle to race his K age brother. I'm losing patience trying to get the two oldest to stop racing as they cut off an elderly woman while my toddler reaches up from the seat in the cart to hit me and I nearly drop the baby in the sling. I'm quickly reaching my boiling point.

And then I look down and my baby smiles a quick smile. Quick but huge. Time stands still.

Now before you think this is about to turn into one of those "cherish every second" posts, keep reading, because you couldn't be more wrong.

Once there was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, “No. but I love having written.”

I paused in my anger and saw that smiling baby and suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Why was I so mad? No, I mean obviously trying to control 4 monkeys in a grocery store is enough to raise anyone's blood pressure, but why was I mad ?

Deep down the reason anyone gets angry over anything is because they feel the situation they are in is not justified. They feel they deserve better. They feel they are being wronged.

I realized in that moment the reason I was so angry was that I felt I did not deserve to have to deal with naughty children. I felt they were wronging me. I felt I deserved better.

The only person to ever be right in their anger was Christ. He truly deserved better when he went into His house and turned over the tables of those selling in the temple.

But you, my friend, you and I are sinners. What we deserve is far far worse than anything we can imagine. Yes we are saved and therefore in God's eyes deserve only love and blessing, but we are still sinners while on this earth, still in constant need of a savior, still able to fall away.

Therefore, repent. Next time you find yourself angry at your kids use it as an opportunity to repent over your own sin, realize that what your kids are doing is a result of being sinners as well, and give thanks that even though you both deserve what you're getting and far more, Christ instead gives you a washing of rebirth, His body and blood, Holy Absolution, and His Word for your strengthening, salvation, and joy.

Then sigh and carry on.

Oh, and when that sweet old lady at the check out smiles at you and tells you to enjoy every second because it passes too quickly, remember what that famous writer said. There is no reason to guilt yourself into enjoying your work. No one approaches a mechanic and chastises him to enjoy every second of his work, so why people feel the need to say this to a mother is beyond me. Are there moments of absolute joy when parenting? Of course. Usually at the end of the day when you can tuck them away and smile that you survived another day without eating them. (I'm kidding Grandmas, calm down ;) But the real joy comes not in the daily grind of parenting but in HAVING parented. A job well done.

So roll up your sleeves, put on your work boots and apron, and carry on friend, carry on.